i couldn’t take it anymore. not today.
such a small incident but it triggered such a huge outburst of emotions from me. kinda goes to show how much i was suppressing within me.
for all these while i’ve been giving and compromising and understanding and forgiving.
it’s time you did something beyond promising change. regretting not doing enough. feeling sad that you disappointed me.
IF you love me as much as you say you do, you will.
The best thing about tonight’s that we’re not fighting
It could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don’t think that I am trying
I know you’re wearing thin down to the core
But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I’d never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start
Ohh, but hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It’s impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in, I’m yours to keep
And hold on to your words ’cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight when you’re asleep
Will tonight be the night that you’ll fall for me again?
i really don’t think its too much to ask for. that you text me or give me a call just to let me know how you’re doing. even if you are busy, i’m sure typing an sms won’t take you longer than 3min. surely you can spare me that little time if you truly care?
it’s really no excuse. you were simply taking me for granted because we are into our one year. do you know how hurtful it is?
i honestly have nothing to say.
on 25 july 09, dear and i celebrated our 1 year anniversary together. and looking back, just 1 year ago on that exact date was the day he asked me to be his girlfriend (: hmm i would definitely say that it hasn’t always been smooth-sailing and while 1 year may not seem like a very long time, i feel that both of us have come so far in this year and it has been an incredible journey. one which allowed us to understand each other so much better, discover our own flaws, improve for each other and ultimately, be each other’s pillars of support.
for the celebration, we went to mana mana restaurant at ecp for dinner (: it was our first time experiencing al fresco dining and we both agreed that it rocks! (: it was surprisingly windy and non-humid and we were able to enjoy the nice scenery. the food was good too and not too expensive. anyway the surprise came after i went to the toilet.
dear asked me to sit down and he suddenly whipped out a towel-.- and attempted to blindfold me while messing my hair up in the process LOL. so anyway after like 5min or so, he led me to the sand and removed the blindfold. i was pleasantly surprised by the words which he had made using lightsticks and they said “happy 1 year” (:
well this may not seem like much to the romantics out there but to me, it was an incredibly great deal! because i know that he hardly ever does so much and is hardly ever romantic too, which makes what he had done so amazing 
he told me that for all his ex gfs, the anniversary is usually dinner followed by movie and he has never done sth like that before. so u can just imagine how happy and loved i felt(:
thank you sweetie for everything you did for me and i look forward to spending many many many more anniversaries with you (:
i love you so so much!
today was a cool day because during our different outings, dear and i have tried many many times to kiap yoshi from those kiaping machines but FAILED MISERABLY! each time we’ll walk away grudgingly and go “eeee..machine cheap ppl money one.. next time dun play already” but each time we see it, in our coins go again haha.
but today! today was DIFFERENT! because we finally succeeded!
haha look how happy and contented i am! THANKS BABY (:
on a sidenote, we talked about some other stuffs too which turned the atmosphere solemn and reflective. admittedly, it hasn’t been an easy 11th mth especially with the amount of conflicts we have had. but between us, we know that everything will work out in the end (:
for myself, i would have to work on becoming less sensitive and explosive and more trusting. i really should learn to just enjoy the process as dear has so often reminded me. and i will sweetheart. this i promise you okay (:
today was a great day!
watched transformers with dear at an unearthly hour of 10am at marina square. it wasn’t by choice really, but because it was a free movie trip by courtesy of SAF. lol and the movie only started at 1030am so the 30min before that was mainly army sign on propoganda! -.- nevertheless, the movie was GREAT! i LURRRVVEEE OPTIMUS PRIME!!!
haha i can say for sure that i enjoyed it as much as i do a chick-flick:p and weirdly enough, i’ve always loved watching boy cartoons. other than transfomers, there was spiderman, batman and others which i cant remember and now, superhero shows are my favourites along with chick flicks!
after that we went back to his house to watch Coraline as his sister owns the dvd. i liked the show too! its unlike the usual pixar disney cartoons and has a rather darker, morbid undertone but well, that’s what you would expect from the creators of nightmare before christmas. lol and the characters have funny names. other than coraline,there’s why-were-you-born wyborne! haha his name keeps getting stuck in my head today!
for dinner, mum treated us to…..THAI VILLAGE SHARKSFIN!!!! omg it was absolutely heavenly! we each had one golden pot of steaming braised sharksfin with crabmeat to ourselves! ignoring the ethical implications of heartlessly killing sharks slowly by throwing them back into the sea after removing their fins(which my dad’s friend totally insists is not the case although its questionable cos he owns a chinese restaurant), i really did enjoy that meal haha
after dinner was the unusual experience which i think most people wouldnt have experienced! i actually went to a club with my mom and my boyfriend! HOW COOL IS THAT?! haha okay the place wasnt your typical zouk or butter factory but more of a dance club. there was live singing and people dancing salsa! was pretty cool and after watching it totally made me feel like learning salsa too!!
WE SHALL GO LEARN SALSA SOME TIME OKAY DEAR? 
toodles~.
im in a strange kind of mood today and i don’t know why.
i think im experiencing a really unusual and unexplainable mood swing.
but then again, that’s why its called a mood swing.
because its unexplainable.
i suppose.
hmmmmm.
SIGH. i feel so sad and troubled now. Although K isn’t a close friend, I was really touched by her. she’s really very brave to be so honest and upfront with me, especially since we’ve barely talked to each other.
I’ve never really known much about her, except from the mouths of others and most of the time, I’ve merely brushed off the encounters as just someone’s gossip and havent really thought much about it. Now that we’ve actually spoken on the phone, I feel like she’s someone close to me, someone that i actually want to care for.
I think she’s really poor thing. She really puts her heart and soul into the rs and gives her all to him, yet he doesn’t know to love her, cherish her and treat her like a treasure. While he sometimes do tell us that she is really very nice to him and that he should treat her better, i don’t think that’s happening in reality. and i feel so sad for her.
Hearing her sickly voice quivering on the phone, apologize for something that isn’t her fault and feeling bad for her behaviour..it really makes me feel terrible! I wish i could help her. Like do something so that he would care for her and give her the love she deserves.
Hmm but I guess i can’t do that and the best i can do is to give her advice, if she ever does asks me for it, and to not listen to his complaints about her because its really disrespectful i feel. In addition, I shall try to remind my friends to do the same.
I know she doesn’t read my blog but here’s wishing that she’ll stay strong and regain her confidence.
Jia you, K!
